So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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