Well douche your snatch and let's go!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize