We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
