Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
