the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
