Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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