Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
