Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
