Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
