420 ftw
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize