Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
my poor anus
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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