I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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