honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
