i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
