But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
