ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
