:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
