what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
