it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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