it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
