I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
