awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
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