I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
how drunk are you?
Several
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
