I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
