You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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