Your tits are I can't wait for
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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