And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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