My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
