This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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