5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
