How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
