is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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