i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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