I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It's rum buckets o'clock
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
