I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
