I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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