i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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