yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
