HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize