I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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