I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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