yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
