He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
ugly people sure do ruin things
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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