What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
