Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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