the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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