kristin has been a bad kristin
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
