Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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