My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
