I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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