Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I will pee on everything he values.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
