Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
