I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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