Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
