I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize