it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
