Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
