Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
