we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
