You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
