ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize
