He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
