Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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