did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
