Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you win again, gameday.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
